One of the deepest wounds of betrayal is the damage it does to your relationship with yourself. You start to doubt your own instincts, replaying events and wondering how you missed the signs. This erosion of self-trust can be even more painful than the original hurt. Before you can even consider rebuilding a connection with someone else, you must first repair the faith you have in your own judgment. This journey starts from within. Learning how to trust someone again after they hurt you, psychology confirms, begins with reconnecting to your own intuition and rebuilding your emotional resilience. This guide will walk you through both the internal and interpersonal work required to heal.
Key Takeaways
- Heal yourself first: Your primary focus after a betrayal should be on your own well-being. This involves processing your emotions, learning to trust your intuition again, and understanding that forgiveness is a tool for your own freedom, not a requirement for reconciliation.
- Trust is rebuilt through action, not words: If you choose to repair the relationship, know that it requires a structured plan. Healing happens through consistent, reliable actions, clear communication using "I" statements, and firm boundaries that protect your emotional safety.
- Recognize when trust can't be repaired: Healing is not linear, and reconciliation is not always the end goal. Pay attention to red flags like repeated betrayals or a lack of genuine change, as sometimes the most powerful act of self-care is choosing to walk away.
What Betrayal Does to Your Brain and Heart
When someone you trust breaks that bond, the pain isn't just emotional—it's physical. Betrayal can feel like a fundamental threat to your safety, triggering a cascade of reactions in your brain and body that are designed for survival. Your world, which once felt stable and predictable, is suddenly turned upside down. This experience can leave you feeling disoriented, anxious, and deeply wounded, affecting everything from your sleep patterns to your ability to concentrate. It’s a deeply personal violation that can make you question your own judgment and reality.
Understanding what’s happening on a psychological and even biological level is the first step toward healing. It’s not a sign of weakness to feel shattered; it’s a human response to a profound injury. The shockwaves of betrayal can alter how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. Recognizing these changes is crucial because it validates your experience and provides a map for the path forward. The journey to rebuilding trust, whether with others or with yourself, starts by acknowledging the depth of the wound and giving yourself permission to feel the full weight of it without judgment.
The Emotional Aftermath of Betrayal
When someone you trust betrays you, it can feel like it cuts to the core of your emotional soul. The immediate aftermath is often a whirlwind of intense and conflicting feelings. You might experience shock and disbelief, followed by waves of anger, sadness, and confusion. It’s common to question everything you thought you knew about the person and the relationship, leading to a painful sense of loss.
These feelings are a completely normal response to having your sense of security violated. You might find yourself replaying events over and over, searching for signs you missed. This emotional turmoil is exhausting, but it’s a necessary part of processing what happened. Working through these feelings with professional support can provide a safe space to heal, which is why many people seek individual counseling during this time.
Why It's So Hard to Trust Again
After a betrayal, your instinct is to protect yourself from getting hurt again. This is your brain’s natural defense mechanism kicking in. Trust is the foundation of any meaningful connection, and when it’s broken, our internal alarm system goes on high alert. This can make it feel nearly impossible to trust that person again, and sometimes, the skepticism spills over into other relationships, too.
Rebuilding trust isn't a simple decision; it's a difficult choice you might have to make every single day. It requires seeing consistent, changed behavior over time, which can feel like a monumental task for both people involved. This is why many find it so hard to let their guard down again. The fear of repeated pain is powerful, and learning to feel safe in a relationship again is a gradual process that often requires the guidance found in couples counseling.
How Trauma Changes Your Brain Chemistry
A significant betrayal can register in your brain as a traumatic event. This isn't an exaggeration—it can trigger your body’s fight-or-flight response, flooding your system with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Your amygdala, the brain's threat detection center, can become overactive, leaving you in a state of hypervigilance. You might feel constantly on edge, jumpy, or unable to relax, as if you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
This physiological response explains why healing isn't a straight line. Some days you might feel fine, and others, a small trigger can send you spiraling. It’s important to be kind to yourself and understand that your brain is trying to keep you safe. Therapeutic methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be incredibly effective in helping you manage these trauma responses and retrain your brain to feel secure again.
Your First Steps to Rebuilding Trust
When trust is broken, the path forward can feel completely obscured. Before you can even think about forgiveness or reconciliation, you need to find your footing. Taking these initial steps is about creating a stable ground from which you can see things more clearly. It’s not about rushing to a solution; it’s about honoring your experience and thoughtfully considering what comes next. This process begins with looking inward, assessing the reality of the situation, and then, only when you’re ready, taking small, deliberate actions to test the waters.
Acknowledge and Process Your Feelings
The first and most important thing you can do is give yourself permission to feel everything you’re feeling. Anger, sadness, confusion, and grief are all valid responses to betrayal. Try to validate your own pain without judgment. Pushing these emotions down or telling yourself you "should" be over it will only prolong the hurt. Instead, allow yourself the space to process what happened. This might look like journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking support through individual counseling. Remember that processing your feelings is for your own well-being and freedom, helping you move forward whether the relationship continues or not.
Assess if the Relationship Is Worth Saving
With your emotions acknowledged, you can begin to look at the relationship itself. Trust is the glue that holds a connection together, making you feel safe enough to be vulnerable. When that glue is dissolved, you have to decide if it’s possible—and if you want—to make more. Ask yourself some honest questions: Was this a one-time mistake or part of a larger pattern? Has the person who hurt you taken genuine responsibility for their actions? Do you both want to put in the work to repair the damage? Sometimes, only time will tell if the betrayal was too severe to overcome. This isn't about making a final decision today, but about starting an honest assessment of your relationship's future.
Start with Small, Vulnerable Acts
If you decide to try rebuilding, remember that trust isn’t a switch you can just flip back on. It has to be re-earned through consistent, reliable actions over time. Don't rush the process. Instead, start with small, vulnerable acts. You can test a person in small ways to see if they are trustworthy again. This could be as simple as sharing a minor feeling and seeing how they respond, or asking them to handle a small responsibility and seeing if they follow through. The goal is to gradually increase your vulnerability as they prove themselves reliable. Each time they show up, a tiny bit of trust is restored, creating a foundation you can slowly build upon.
Talk It Out: Communication That Heals
After a betrayal, silence can feel safer than saying the wrong thing. But healing can’t happen in a vacuum. Meaningful, structured communication is the bridge back to connection. It’s not about having one big, dramatic conversation that fixes everything. Instead, it’s about building a new way of talking to each other—one based on honesty, empathy, and a shared desire to understand. These conversations will be difficult, but they are essential for processing the hurt and deciding how to move forward, together or apart. The goal isn't to re-litigate the past, but to create a future where both partners feel heard and respected.
Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversation
For any real conversation to happen, you both need to feel safe. This means creating an environment where you can share your thoughts and feelings without worrying about being attacked, dismissed, or punished. A safe space is built on mutual respect. Agree on some ground rules before you start, like no yelling, no name-calling, and no interrupting. Choose a time and place where you won’t be distracted by phones, kids, or work. This deliberate approach shows you’re both taking the process seriously. It’s this foundation of safety that allows for the vulnerability needed to truly heal and rebuild trust. If setting this stage feels impossible on your own, couples counseling can provide a neutral space to get started.
Use "I" Statements to Express Yourself
When you’re hurt, it’s natural to want to point fingers. But starting sentences with "You did..." or "You made me feel..." immediately puts your partner on the defensive, shutting down the conversation before it even starts. A more constructive approach is to use "I" statements. For example, instead of saying, "You lied to me," try, "I felt betrayed and hurt when I learned the truth." This simple shift changes the entire dynamic. You’re no longer making an accusation; you’re sharing your personal experience. It keeps the focus on your feelings, which are undeniable, and invites your partner to understand your perspective rather than defend their actions. This is a core skill in many therapeutic approaches, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Practice Active Listening to Truly Understand
Communication is a two-way street, and listening is just as important as speaking. Active listening means you’re not just waiting for your turn to talk. You are fully present, trying to understand the words and the emotions behind them. Put your phone away, make eye contact, and give your partner your undivided attention. When they finish speaking, try to summarize what you heard. Saying something like, "It sounds like you were feeling really alone and overwhelmed," shows you were paying attention and helps clarify their message. The goal is to validate their feelings—to acknowledge their emotional experience as real—even if you don't agree with their point of view. This act of validation can be incredibly powerful in de-escalating conflict.
Handle Common Communication Roadblocks
Even with the best intentions, these conversations can get stuck. You might find yourselves going in circles or hitting an emotional wall. It’s crucial to talk about the reasons behind the betrayal. While it doesn't excuse the behavior, understanding the "why" can be a necessary part of processing the pain. Ask your partner to explain their thinking and what led to their actions. If the conversation becomes too heated or unproductive, it’s okay to take a break. Agree to pause and come back to it in an hour or the next day. Navigating these roadblocks is challenging, and it's often where having a therapist to guide the conversation can make all the difference. A professional can help you both find the right words and stay on a productive path.
Where Does Forgiveness Fit In?
When you’re reeling from a betrayal, the idea of forgiveness can feel impossible, or even insulting. It’s often misunderstood as letting someone off the hook or pretending the hurt never happened. But in the journey of rebuilding trust, understanding the true role of forgiveness is a powerful step toward healing—mostly for yourself. It’s not about condoning the action; it’s about deciding you no longer want the pain to control your life.
Forgiveness is a personal process that happens on your own timeline. It’s a choice to release the heavy weight of resentment so you can move forward, whether that’s with or without the person who hurt you. Thinking about forgiveness isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you're ready to reclaim your peace and start healing.
Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: What's the Difference?
It’s crucial to understand that forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. You can have one without the other. Forgiveness is an internal process—a personal choice you make to let go of anger and resentment. As many therapists will tell you, forgiving someone is primarily for your own peace of mind, not to absolve the other person of their actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional burden.
Reconciliation, on the other hand, is an interpersonal process. It’s the act of restoring a relationship, and it requires effort from both people. Reconciliation can only happen when trust has been genuinely rebuilt and both parties are committed to moving forward together in a healthy way. You can absolutely forgive someone for your own well-being without ever reconciling or allowing them back into your life.
The Healing Power of Letting Go
Holding onto anger after a betrayal is completely normal, but over time, it can drain your energy and keep you stuck in the past. The act of letting go, which is the heart of forgiveness, is one of the most profound things you can do for your own healing. It frees up the emotional space you need to process what happened and start moving forward.
This process is also a key part of learning to trust yourself again. When you make a conscious choice to release resentment, you are taking back control of your emotional state. You’re telling yourself that your peace is more important than the other person’s mistake. This isn't about forgetting the pain, but about choosing not to let it define your future. This is a core part of the work we do in individual counseling.
Know When Forgiveness Isn't the Answer
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, but it’s not always appropriate or safe. If the hurtful behavior is part of a recurring pattern or if there is any form of abuse—emotional, verbal, or physical—your priority must be your safety, not forgiveness. In these situations, the best course of action is to seek distance and professional support to help you process the situation safely.
Furthermore, forgiveness should never feel forced. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Sometimes, a betrayal is so severe that the trust is permanently broken, and that’s okay. True healing requires honesty with yourself about what you can and cannot move past. Pushing yourself to forgive before you’re ready can do more harm than good. Trust your instincts and give yourself the time and grace you need.
Set Healthy Boundaries as You Rebuild
After a betrayal, boundaries are not about building walls to keep someone out forever; they are about creating a safe structure for healing to happen. Think of them as a framework that protects your well-being while you figure out if trust can be restored. Setting clear boundaries is one of the most empowering steps you can take. It shifts the focus from the other person’s actions to your own needs, giving you a sense of control in a situation that likely made you feel powerless.
This process isn’t about punishment. It’s about respect—for yourself and for the potential of the relationship. Healthy boundaries communicate what you need to feel secure and what is no longer acceptable. They create a predictable environment where the person who hurt you has a clear opportunity to show, through their actions, that they are committed to changing and earning back your trust. It’s a necessary step for both of you to move forward on solid ground. If you find this step challenging, individual counseling can provide a supportive space to explore and define what you need.
Define Your Non-Negotiables
Before you can communicate your needs, you have to get crystal clear on what they are. This is the time to reflect and define your non-negotiables—the absolute requirements for you to feel safe and respected in the relationship again. As one psychologist suggests, you need to revisit and clearly define your new boundaries and get honest about what you truly need. This might mean total transparency with passwords for a period of time, a commitment to couples therapy, or an end to communication with a specific person. Your non-negotiables are unique to you and your situation. Take some time to write them down without judgment. These are not requests; they are the foundation upon which trust can be rebuilt.
Communicate Your Boundaries with Confidence
Once you know your limits, you need to communicate them clearly and calmly. This isn't a negotiation; it's an explanation of what is required for the relationship to continue. Be direct about what behaviors are acceptable and what the consequences will be if those boundaries are crossed. For example, you might say, "I need you to be home when you say you will. If you are going to be late, I need a call. If this doesn't happen, I won't be able to continue rebuilding trust with you." The key is to state your needs and the outcome with confidence, showing that you are serious about protecting your emotional safety.
Stay Consistent with Your Limits
Defining and communicating boundaries is only half the battle; the real work is in consistently upholding them. Every time you follow through on a stated consequence, you reinforce the importance of your boundary. It shows the other person that your words have weight, and it teaches you to trust yourself again. Remember, trust is earned little by little as someone consistently shows up for you in the ways you’ve asked. Inconsistency sends a mixed message and can make it harder to heal. It will feel difficult at times, but holding firm is an act of self-respect and is essential for creating lasting change in the relationship dynamic.
Red Flags: When Trust Can't Be Repaired
Rebuilding trust takes two committed people. But what happens when you’re the only one putting in the work, or when the betrayal was so profound that it shattered the very foundation of your relationship? Sometimes, the healthiest and most courageous choice is to recognize that the trust can’t be repaired. It’s not about giving up; it’s about honoring your own well-being and knowing when to walk away from a situation that is causing you more harm than good. Recognizing these red flags is the first step toward protecting your peace and moving forward, whether that’s together on a new path or separately.
Signs the Damage Is Too Deep
Deep down, you probably already know. There’s a persistent knot in your stomach, a constant sense of unease that no amount of reassurance can soothe. For many people, a significant betrayal makes it nearly impossible to trust someone again in the same way. You might keep them in your life, but that feeling of safety is gone for good. This isn't a personal failing; it's a natural protective response. If a significant amount of time has passed and you still find yourself checking their phone, questioning their stories, or bracing for the next disappointment, it’s a clear sign that the wound was too severe to heal within the relationship. Your intuition is telling you something important—it’s worth listening to.
Spotting a Pattern of Repeated Betrayal
A single mistake can sometimes be forgiven, but a pattern of behavior is a billboard of what you can expect in the future. If the person who hurt you has broken your trust multiple times, it’s time to stop focusing on their apologies and start looking at their actions. Are they genuinely doing the work to change, or are they just sorry they got caught? Repeated betrayals show a lack of respect for you and the relationship. It creates a cycle of hurt, apology, and temporary relief, followed by more hurt. This isn't a stable foundation for any connection. True change requires consistent effort, and if you're not seeing it, you have to accept that this pattern is likely to continue.
When to Put Your Well-Being First
Your emotional and physical safety is non-negotiable. If the betrayal involves any form of abuse—emotional, verbal, physical, or financial—the only path forward is to prioritize your safety and leave. Staying in an abusive situation is not a sign of strength. If this is your reality, please seek professional help immediately. Beyond clear-cut abuse, consider how the relationship impacts your mental health. Are you constantly anxious? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Have you lost your sense of self? These are serious signs that the relationship is damaging your well-being. Choosing to end a relationship that consistently makes you feel small, scared, or insecure is an act of profound self-care. Working with a therapist through individual counseling can provide the support and clarity you need to make this difficult choice.
Be Patient: A Realistic Look at Rebuilding Trust
If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: rebuilding trust is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s a journey with an unpredictable map, demanding immense patience from both the person who was hurt and the person who caused the harm. The process is often messy, slow, and rarely straightforward. It’s less about getting back to exactly how things were and more about building something new—something that might even be stronger. Understanding this from the start can save you a lot of frustration and help you see the process for what it is: a testament to your commitment to heal.
Why Healing Isn't a Straight Line
Healing from a deep hurt isn't like recovering from a cold; it’s a process that doesn't happen in a straight line. You’ll likely have days where you feel optimistic and connected, followed by days where doubt and old pain resurface. A song, a place, or a stray comment can trigger those feelings all over again. This isn't a sign that you're failing or that the work isn't paying off. It's a normal part of how our minds and hearts process betrayal. Think of it as your emotional system recalibrating. Each time you work through a difficult moment, you're learning and growing. Our therapeutic approaches are designed to support you through these ups and downs.
Celebrate Small Wins Along the Way
When you're climbing a mountain, you don't just focus on the summit; you notice the small milestones that show you're making progress. The same is true for rebuilding trust. Trust is earned little by little, as someone consistently shows up for you. It’s crucial to recognize and celebrate these small wins. A "win" could be as simple as your partner putting their phone away when you're talking, or you sharing a vulnerable feeling without shutting down. It might be them remembering something important and following through, or you resisting the urge to check up on them. Acknowledging these moments reinforces positive behavior and builds momentum. It’s proof that change is possible, one small, consistent action at a time.
How to Handle Inevitable Setbacks
No matter how committed you both are, setbacks are almost guaranteed to happen. An old argument might flare up, or a moment of insecurity can feel overwhelming. The key is not to let a setback derail the entire process. Instead of seeing it as a sign that all is lost, try to view it as a stress test. What did this moment reveal? Was a boundary crossed? Was there a miscommunication? Use it as an opportunity to practice the skills you're learning. That said, you also have to be realistic. Sometimes, only time will tell if trust can be rebuilt. If enough time passes and you still feel a deep sense of unease, it might mean the betrayal was too severe to overcome. This is where professional guidance can help you decide on the best path forward for your well-being. You can always reach out to us to talk it through.
How to Trust Yourself Again After Betrayal
When someone you trust betrays you, it’s not just your faith in them that shatters—it’s your faith in yourself. You might start questioning your judgment, replaying every red flag you missed, and wondering how you could have been so wrong. This internal doubt is one of the deepest wounds betrayal leaves behind, making you feel disconnected from your own instincts. Before you can even think about trusting someone else again, the most important relationship you need to repair is the one you have with yourself. Rebuilding that inner confidence is the foundation for all future healing and healthier relationships.
Learning to trust yourself again is about reconnecting with your own wisdom and strength. It’s a process of remembering that you are capable, resilient, and worthy of your own belief. It means understanding that while you can’t control others' actions, you can always trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way. This journey involves tuning back into your intuition, strengthening your emotional core, and finding a sense of security that comes from within, not from external validation. By focusing on these areas, you can reclaim your power and move forward with a renewed sense of self-assurance that isn't dependent on anyone else.
Learn to Listen to Your Gut
After a betrayal, your inner voice, or gut feeling, can feel broken or unreliable. You might second-guess every instinct. The first step to fixing this is to consciously decide to trust yourself again. This means believing that you will be okay, even if you get hurt in the future. Think back to other tough times you’ve faced. What strengths did you use to get through them? You’ve navigated challenges before, and you have the inner resources to do it again. Your intuition didn't disappear; it just got quieted by the noise of the hurt. Start listening to it in small, low-stakes situations to slowly rebuild that connection and prove to yourself that it’s still a reliable guide.
Build Your Emotional Resilience
Healing from a deep hurt is never a straight line—it’s a messy process with good days and bad days. Building emotional resilience is about learning to bounce back from those inevitable setbacks. It starts with shifting your perspective: you are not a victim of your circumstances; you are the author of your story moving forward. You have the power to decide what this experience will mean for you. Resilience isn't about being tough or ignoring your pain. It’s about allowing yourself to feel it, process it, and then choose to keep going. Each time you pick yourself up, you’re strengthening that resilience muscle and proving you can handle life’s challenges.
Find Security Within Yourself
Often, a betrayal can make you feel like your sense of safety and worth was tied to the other person. The key to healing is to find that security within yourself. Your value as a person was never dependent on their loyalty, and it isn't diminished by their actions. You are still whole and worthy of love and respect, starting with the love and respect you give yourself. Remind yourself of this daily. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to not be okay, but it’s important to keep moving forward. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend going through a hard time. Your security is yours to build and protect.
Keep Trust Strong for the Long Haul
Rebuilding trust isn't a one-and-done project; it’s an ongoing practice. Once you’ve done the hard work of repairing a breach, the focus shifts to maintaining that connection and preventing future damage. Think of it like tending to a garden after a storm. You’ve cleared the debris and replanted, but now you need to water, weed, and nurture it consistently to help it thrive.
Maintaining trust requires a conscious effort from both partners to stay connected, communicate openly, and protect the emotional safety of the relationship. It’s about building new, healthier patterns so you don’t fall back into old, destructive ones. This long-term work is what transforms a fragile, newly repaired bond into one that is resilient and deeply secure. By committing to open communication, creating preventative habits, and protecting your own well-being, you can build a foundation strong enough to last. The goal isn't just to get back to where you were, but to create a relationship that's even stronger than before.
Commit to Open Communication
The bedrock of lasting trust is a commitment to honest, open dialogue. This means creating a safe space where both of you can share your feelings, fears, and needs without worrying about judgment or punishment. When you can talk about anything—even the uncomfortable stuff—you eliminate the secrets and assumptions that erode trust. This isn't about rehashing the past over and over, but about fostering an environment where transparency is the norm. If something feels off, you talk about it. If you’re feeling insecure, you say so. This practice keeps small issues from growing into major problems and reinforces that you’re a team, facing challenges together.
Create Habits to Prevent Future Breakdowns
To prevent history from repeating itself, you need to build new relational habits. A powerful practice is adopting the "Most Generous Interpretation" of your partner's actions. When a situation triggers your anxiety, instead of jumping to the worst-case scenario, pause and consider the kindest possible reason for their behavior. This simple shift can stop a spiral of suspicion before it starts. It’s also important to remember that rebuilding trust involves your own personal growth. It’s not just about waiting for your partner to prove themselves; it’s about you learning to manage your reactions and feel secure again.
Protect Your Peace Moving Forward
As you move forward, your emotional well-being has to be a priority. You have the power to decide what your story will be after being hurt. You are not a victim of your past. This means recognizing that healing takes time and won't always be a straight line. There will be good days and tough days, and that’s okay. Protecting your peace involves holding firm to your boundaries, continuing to listen to your intuition, and knowing when to step back and care for yourself. It’s about building a life where you feel secure and whole, with or without the relationship. This self-assurance is the ultimate foundation for trusting others.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it really take to rebuild trust? There’s no magic number, and anyone who gives you a specific timeline is guessing. Healing from betrayal is a slow process that depends on the nature of the hurt and the genuine commitment of both people. Instead of focusing on a finish line, try to focus on consistent, positive actions. Trust is rebuilt one small, reliable moment at a time, and it requires a great deal of patience with the process and with yourself.
Can our relationship ever go back to the way it was? Honestly, no—and that might not be a bad thing. A serious breach of trust changes a relationship permanently. The goal isn't to erase the past and pretend it didn't happen, but to build something new. The relationship you create moving forward can be built on a foundation of radical honesty and deeper communication, making it stronger and more resilient than it was before.
What if I'm the only one trying to fix things? You cannot rebuild a relationship by yourself. It takes two people who are fully committed to the hard work of healing. If your partner isn't taking responsibility, showing consistent change, or actively participating in the repair process, that is a clear sign that the relationship may not be salvageable. Your energy is precious, and it's important to recognize when it's better spent on your own healing.
How do I stop questioning my own judgment after being betrayed? It’s natural to doubt yourself and wonder how you missed the signs. The most important thing to remember is that their choice to betray you is a reflection of their character, not a measure of your worth or intelligence. Start rebuilding self-trust by listening to your intuition in small, everyday situations. Remind yourself that you are resilient and have successfully handled difficult things before. Your inner compass isn't broken; it just needs to be recalibrated.
Is it possible to forgive someone but still not want to be in a relationship with them? Yes, absolutely. This is a crucial distinction to make. Forgiveness is an internal process you do for your own peace; it’s about releasing the anger and resentment so it no longer controls you. Reconciliation, on the other hand, is the act of repairing the relationship, and it requires both people. You can fully forgive someone for your own well-being without ever choosing to reconcile or trust them again.
